Wednesday, August 17, 2011

SICK/TWISTED/MIND

....and that's just the inner workings of me!
So i was emailing a couple of friends earlier in the week & we were discussing how it is often beneficial to keep a diary if you're going through a hard time/good time/rad time/bad time/glad time/sad time etc.
That sort of thing.
Not so much a diary you write in daily.
'Dear diary, today i wanted to sleep in, but noooo, i have to get up for stupid boring school...'
No. *Yawn.
I was talking more of a diary you write in when you needed to get something off your chest. 
Theres' something therapeutic about writing down all your thoughts, feelings, emotions that can help you deal with it.
Whether its something good or bad that's happening in your life.
Personal experience has taught me this.
ie: loves, hates, annoyances, sorrows, secrets (whether they are yours or someone elses!) who you wish you could punch/slap/kick in the face, hilarious experiences you have with your friends, sketches of aforementioned scenarios, even keeping photos in there that no one else should ever see.
Uh Huh. 
In high school I had a diary that I'd write in when things like
that came up.  
It was so good at the time!
Yes yes yes.
You have to absolutely write down every single detail/thought/emotion, no matter how wild/dumb/stupid/hurtful/idiotic/it feels, otherwise it will linger in your brain forEVER & drive you insane!
Get it all out.
Who cares what you say- you are the only person who will
be reading it. 
For some, it's about being ok to let go of something & knowing we've done everything absolutely humanly possible & in our strength to fix it/change it/whatever it.
It's all fine & dandy to believe something but it's another thing to actually accept it for ourselves.
This can take weeks, months or even years.
Physically writing our thoughts down.. can be somewhat soothing.
It's raw & unpretentious.
Its almost like a confession of someone who is vulnerable.
It's you.
...did i get somewhat off track?!
Back to it. 
I'd write about all my crushes & dumb stuff like that.
ie: 'Today walking down the corridor at school, *insert name here* called me 'babe' WOW! I was so stoked, I didn't think
he knew i existed!'
 Blah etc etc blah.
Utterly dumb teenage trash like that.
It was actually quite embarrassing to read years later.
I definitely also wrote about deeper more important things than that. This was purely an example.
As for my high school diary... i ended up burning it in our open fire place one night.
I figured, it was safer to burn the evidence.
..except for those photos i mentioned earlier.. i kept those.
XOX
ps- It was quite exhilarating to burn that!

Wednesday, August 10, 2011

THE LOVE OF MY LIFE.

I have 4.
Yes, 4 loves of my life.
one, two, three, four.
Simple as that!
Does that sound just a *little* bit greedy??
I figure, what's better than having 1 love of my life? ...well, having 4 of them, ofcourse darling!
The catch is, I don't want to share them~ so i guess that would be classed as greedy hey.
(Although, I am talking about them with you on my blog.. does that count as sharing them? Giving insight into them? Into the workings of my psyche? Maybe im not so greedy afterall)
It's ok to have 4... isn't it?
Who are they?
I thought you'd never ask! :)
Let me discuss:
Every now & then, you will meet someone who will completely blow you away.
Instantly.
That first impression will often set the benchmark for your future relationship with them.
You had fun with them & they left a huge impact on you.
From then on, the friendship & relationship can
only grow stronger.
No question about it. You are enamoured by them.
You want to see them every day & spend every waking
minute with them.
They are constantly on your mind. Morning, noon & night.
You want to love them, you want to smother them in kisses, you want to protect them, you want to help them, you want to always be there for them, if you could give them the world you would.
Then they do a small, simple gesture.
They smile at you.
They might hold your hand or give you a hug.
A kiss.
Just that little display of affection can keep your heart smiling for days, weeks, even months to come.
Every time you see them, whether it's often or not, you always experience a warm buzzing feeling deep down inside your heart.
Instantly a rush of endorphins flood over you.
You could be surrounded by a crowd of people, but in that very moment, nothing else matters except them.
The world around you is insignificant.
You are caught up in the moment!
I am ofcourse, talking about my 3 nieces & my 1 nephew.
The 4 loves of my life.
The very instant i met them after they were born, i felt
all of the above & more!
Instant, unselfish love.
I would do anything for those kids.
Anything.
No questions asked.
***
Im sorry if you got the wrong impression.
But i guess thats your fault for making such a wild assumption that i was in love with 4 men!
Thats just crazy.
ps- xox

Wednesday, August 3, 2011

Girls are pieces of MEAT!

HA!
Just kidding.
No we definitely are not.
Surprise, surprise, we're actually people not just a nice piece of.... well, you get my drift.
Don't get me wrong, there is definitely something very nice, lovely & good about a guy who sees someone he likes & then
goes for her.
However easy or hard it may be.
Who knows where it could lead?
It could be the best gamble you ever make & if nothing works out, then atleast you've gained a friend from it.
In doing so, you'll gain her respect which I'm sure some of you guys don't care about just yet, but the select few who do care are the real gems out there.
Few & far between.
Before i go on, let me set something straight.
My dad is very traditional.
Man pursues woman.
The end.
Simple equation really.
That's what I have been brought up knowing.
Nothing makes you feel more desired than a guy who is confident enough to actually take that chance & pursue you & knows how to hold onto your attention once he's got it.
Oooh la la!
When you make her feel like this, she responds.
But.
It's when guys cross the line & feel they can treat you like a piece of meat & still win you over after doing so.
How dumb do you think we are?
(That's a rhetorical question by the way)
No thanks. Goodbye mate.
It's not the best feeling in the world.
Especially when random guys yell out obscene, rude things to you, wolf whistle at you (actually.. I must confess, I don't mind the old wolf whistle because it's nice to be appreciated when strutting down the street!)
Or when random guys grab you to dance with.
No thanks random grindy guy.
Get away from me. Yuck.
You want some love? Then don't treat me like trash.
I can hold out longer than you can.
Where has chivalry gone? Seriously.
When a guy is chivalrous towards me, it completely
blows my mind!
I never expect it. Ever.
So when it happens, it's always a lovely surprise & I feel like i owe him the world because he makes me feel that nice.
Actions always get a reaction ;)
Even if it's just something little like buying a drink for me, paying for a cab ride or bringing a bottle of wine to dinner.
Win Win Win.
It's just simple, nice & courteous.
For me, it really is the little things in life that count.
I don't need or want to be bought expensive things.
(Unless it's an engagement ring. Then, the bigger the better! Diamond. 9ct white gold please. You wont regret it.)
It makes you feel like a person, not just some piece of meat that can be used, abused & expected to still be there next time.
To my boy friends who just seem to 'get it,' you guys are champions.
xox
ps- You'd be surprised how far a little chivalry & respect 
will get you... yes. yes. yes.