Thursday, October 18, 2012

Parklife~ Afterlife

Melbourne in the warmer months can only mean one thing..
A barrage of excellent music festivals to fuel our cravings for fresh beats!

Why are they so damn expensive though, argh!
To go to all of them or a select few?
Why does it feel like this is one of the hardest decisions of our lives?
If you've been in Melbourne recently, you may have heard of a little festival called 'Parklife.'
I only decided on the day that i was actually going to hit it up.
3.30pm i bought my ticket at the door.
So started one of the longest festival days of my life!
Grooving to Chiddy Bang, refuelling at the burger tent, getting our grind on for some RnB, moshing to Nero & walking out on The Presets, we survived *just.

Photo donated by Jordan. The best guy ever!

A crew of friends battled through the crowds, the rain, the bodies, the dirt & grime, the hail. We made it! And when it was all over.. coffee was definitely in order.
Cruising into the city & stuck in traffic i spotted a girlfriend who i grew up with.
Shouting at her & inviting her into my car, we stole her away into the night.
Ofcourse, as always, we went to the European Cafe.
For some reason, tonight, my soy latte was accompanied by the smallest, most insignificant spoon i had ever had the disgust of using.
Over coffee, my kidnapped friend informed us all that the Napoleon Exhibition was open for 24hours tonight as it was the final weekend for it.
3 Double shot soy lattes later.. and we found ourselves lining up for tickets at the gallery. It was after midnight & tickets were $10. YAYSIES!
I'm glad we hit up the exhibit.. but to be honest, none of us actually took in a lot of it.
Delirium had set in. Hardcore.
Time for some tea. A nice cuppa to soothe ourselves at the cafe outside the exhibit.
How we managed to not get beaten up by all the weirdo's we were surrounded by & that we were laughing uncontrollably at, I'll never know!
There was the table of goth' looking vampires with wildly massive clunky, black shoes
Or what about the lady that Versace was mesmerised by~ she was completely off in her own world, sipping her tea like a proper lady.. she was like a magnet.
About 2.30am.. i think?! We decided we needed food. Badly. Otherwise the 4 of us were about to pass out.
2.30am, in Melbourne, for food.. options are VERY limited.
McDonald's it was.
It was hideous, as always. But tonight seemed especially hideous!
There was that lady that looked like a man, those prepubescent kids dressed up to the 9's in their skankiest clothes & then we have, what we now refer to as, 'Breast Flakes Lady.'
She. Was. Off.
Minding our business & instantly regretting getting McDonald's, we sat there & took in our surroundings.
Then we spotted her. Sitting with her boyfriend (?)
Typical yukky person. Dirty trackies on. Dirty hoodie on. Dirty hair & face.
And sores.
SORES.
On her neck & chest. Red & raw.
Which she then started to rub ferociously. It was terrible! Rubbing & scratching at herself.
Although we almost felt sorry for her, we couldn't control ourselves anymore, we were laughing too much!
Then! She got up & walked towards us.. that nervous heart-skips-a-beat 'am i going to get rabies from her if she comes near me?' moment..

Scratching & rubbing her neck/chest, she walked passed us.. not before giving us a 2nd glance.
That was our cue to leave and pronto!
We were gone. Melbourne's finest weirdo's were too much to handle at such an hour. It was now around 3.30am.
And then we remembered it was daylight savings.. so make that, another 4.30am finish.
~le fin.
xox

Monday, October 8, 2012

That annoying friend you want to punch in the face

Is there someone in your life that you want to punch in the face every time you see them?
No?
You're not mean like that.
Then why did you instantly think of someone just now who fits that bill?
Ahh yes, that annoying friend you just want to punch in the face.
I know i am definitely that annoying friend at times & very much deserving of a punch.
But so are you!
You know when someone is just annoying the absolute hell out of you?
Whether they are physically getting all up in your grill,
Or teasing you verbally.
And even though you tell them many times to stop & not to do that..
They keep annoying you to the extreme.
More & more. Over & over again.
Pushing & pushing you.
Physically & metaphorically.
They think what they are doing to you is absolutely hilarious!
Laughing in your face, they keep going.
You don't like being in a headlock? Excellent. I'll get you in a headlock then.
So, it continues.
'Stop it! STOP IT!'
They keep pushing you thinking that you're having 'fun.'
'PLEASE STOP.'
You don't listen to me.
You never do.
'PLEASE STOP! This is NOT fun.'
Ofcourse, it continues.
WHAT do you want from me?
A blood nose? Tears? For me to snap?
What is it?
Why don't you do this to anybody else?
Why is it always me?
W H Y ?
***
I'm at the end of my tether.
I'm done. So done.
I'm gone.
A little respect every now & then would be nice thanks, Champ..
***
Reaching your limit, all you want to do is turn around & smack them across the face.
*Snap.
This one time i did inadvertently punch someone in the face.
And then their lip bled because i was wearing a massive silver ring.
Then i felt really bad about it.. kind of.
But they deserved it.















And then sometimes, i think that a punch wouldn't be enough.
Wheres my cricket bat...?
xox