JUST TEXT ME ALREADY! ARGH

You know when you don't hear from someone for ages & it drives you WILDLY insane~

Friend. Family member. Loved one. That cutie you gave your phone number to..

No text, no phone call, no email, no snail mail, no carrier pigeon messages.

And being the stubborn dutch girl that you are..

I mean.. being the stubborn girl that you are..

I mean.. being the girl that you are..

I mean.. being YOU.. whoever you might be..

You refuse to contact them first.

Out of spite? Yes. Ofcourse. What other reason even exists?

Ahh, so lame. So very lame!

It's such high school level stupidity.

But you know that if you leave it long enough you figure they'll have to contact you first.

Wont they?

It's almost like that game you play at school, 'Mercy,' where you hold your friends hands, turn your arms inside out & whoever hurts & yells out 'Mercy' first, is the loser? Even if you are hurting, you still refuse to yell out because you don't want to lose..

Why do we play this silly little mind trip game?

Or should that be.. why do I play this silly little mind trip game?
I haven't the faintest idea!
As time goes by you start to think about other people, places, life, planning that trip overseas..
You may even totally forget about said person who hasn't contacted you.
Who??
Oh yeah, i used to know them. I wonder what they're up to these days..
And then casually minding your own business one evening while sitting on your friends couch, your phone buzzes.
'Oooh!! A text! I wonder who it's from!?'
Oh. It's you. Really? YOU. That's so damn random!
You sit there staring at your phone for what feels like millennium's.. REALLY?!
I just got THAT message?! From you?!
That's awesome!
So nice to hear from you, it's been a while.
I can't help but wonder why you are now suddenly wanting back in my life though, ahh the plot thickens.
The moral of this story? There is no moral of this story. It's just a story. And it's also a complete contradiction of last weeks post.
What?
You have to mix it up & keep it interesting!
xox

SICK/TWISTED/MIND

....and that's just the inner workings of me!

So i was emailing a couple of friends earlier in the week & we were discussing how it is often beneficial to keep a diary if you're going through a hard time/good time/rad time/bad time/glad time/sad time etc.

That sort of thing.

Not so much a diary you write in daily.

'Dear diary, today i wanted to sleep in, but noooo, i have to get up for stupid boring school...'

No. *Yawn.

I was talking more of a diary you write in when you needed to get something off your chest. 

Theres' something therapeutic about writing down all your thoughts, feelings, emotions that can help you deal with it.

Whether its something good or bad that's happening in your life.

Personal experience has taught me this.

ie: loves, hates, annoyances, sorrows, secrets (whether they are yours or someone elses!) who you wish you could punch/slap/kick in the face, hilarious experiences you have with your friends, sketches of aforementioned scenarios, even keeping photos in there that no one else should ever see.

Uh Huh. 

In high school I had a diary that I'd write in when things like

that came up.  

It was so good at the time!

Yes yes yes.

You have to absolutely write down every single detail/thought/emotion, no matter how wild/dumb/stupid/hurtful/idiotic/it feels, otherwise it will linger in your brain forEVER & drive you insane!

Get it all out.

Who cares what you say- you are the only person who will

be reading it. 

For some, it's about being ok to let go of something & knowing we've done everything absolutely humanly possible & in our strength to fix it/change it/whatever it.

It's all fine & dandy to believe something but it's another thing to actually accept it for ourselves.

This can take weeks, months or even years.

Physically writing our thoughts down.. can be somewhat soothing.

It's raw & unpretentious.

Its almost like a confession of someone who is vulnerable.

It's you.

...did i get somewhat off track?!

Back to it. 

I'd write about all my crushes & dumb stuff like that.

ie: 'Today walking down the corridor at school, *insert name here* called me 'babe' WOW! I was so stoked, I didn't think

he knew i existed!'

 Blah etc etc blah.

Utterly dumb teenage trash like that.

It was actually quite embarrassing to read years later.

I definitely also wrote about deeper more important things than that. This was purely an example.

As for my high school diary... i ended up burning it in our open fire place one night.

I figured, it was safer to burn the evidence.

..except for those photos i mentioned earlier.. i kept those.

XOX

ps- It was quite exhilarating to burn that!