The Pursuit of Happiness~

No, I am not talking about the Will Smith movie.
Note the different spelling in my title & his movie title.
(His is 'The Pursuit of Happyness.')
What is it about humans that gives us a driving force to find happiness?
To keep searching & to keep pushing ourselves until we have a measure of it.
Are we depressed? Does our life suck? Stuck in a mind numbing, meaningless job perhaps?
 ***
Where do you look for happiness?
What do you look for?
Perhaps it's found in a new pair of expensive shoes, an overseas adventure, a new house, a new car.. you get my drift.
***
I was stuck in a mind numbing meaningless job where i worked in a white box aka office.
No stimulation. No fun. Laughs were few and far between and were often at someone else's downfall or expense. There was no appreciation. There were no perks. There was no commendation.
Oh and my boss liked to look at porn from his work computer.
Not the most ideal situation.
6 years i lasted there. 6 YEARS.
You want to know why i lasted that long?
I got comfortable. I was good at what i did & it came easily to me.
The hours were good & it was close to home.
Those were probably the only good things about my job.. and my boss used to buy me a coffee each morning. That was nice.
But that aside, I hated it.
My friends knew it, my family knew it, everyone knew it.
And then one day, something changed.
It was something internal & my life took an unexpected turn for good..
I decided to save up as much money as possible & go on an overseas adventure.
And i did it.
I quit my job.
And spent 4.5 months overseas on an amazing adventure.
You know what, quitting was one of the easiest things i have ever had the pleasure of doing.
The day i quit, i hadn't even planned to do it then.
Circumstance changed & my only option was to quit my job then & there.
***
Now that i have been home for a few months, i feel like the sun has started to shine on me once more.
It feels like i have escaped the depths of misery.
The longer i am away from my old job, the more i can see how much of a weight was lifted off me when i quit.
I knew i had made the right decision when my boss wasn't even sad to see me go. There was barely a reaction from him. That was the cherry on top which cemented the fact that getting out of there was the best option.
Recently, I have made some self discovery.
I am happy.
For the first time in as long as i can remember. I feel happy.
Happy. Content. Relaxed.
And i am petrified that it will all be snatched away from me.
xox

Just when you think everything is perfect...

BAM!*
You get screwed over. Just like that.
Ouch, this one hurts.
Hurts all over like a thousand daggers stabbing you.
Hurts all over like those stings you get in the middle of winter when you're freezing & get into a steaming hot shower.
Hurts like a paper cut.
If you don't want to read my whinges, take my advice & stop reading *now.
Seriously, stop now.
Don't be hassling me about whinging on my blog~ you have definitely been warned.
In the words of Bruce Wayne in 'Batman Begins,' ~ 'Please leave.'
***
For the last 5 months, i've been working 3 days a week.
I wont lie, it's been absolute bliss!
My days off involve: volunteer work, taking myself on dates, being a lady of leisure & just having that work/life balance.
3 days of work / 4 days off.
*Finally!
Working 4 days a week for the last 7 years was awesome but then going down to 3 days a week... it was the cherry on top.
Doing volunteer work on Tuesday & Wednesday mornings has been lovely.
A great start to any day off.
You feel good & like you've accomplished something, even if you don't find all that many people at home or who are willing to listen to you.
Yesterday morning (Wednesday) i did some volunteer work with a friend & we had a fantastic morning & some awesome chats were had with lovely people.
It really sets you up for the rest of the day.
We finished around lunchtime & we were ravenous, so we took ourselves out for lunch on Acland St where we devoured our food with minimal words being spoken.
Food. Coffee. Get it in us!
Later in the afternoon i was telling my friend how enjoyable it was only working 3 days a week & how it really helps you keep your sanity!
Little did i know, that 24hours later... this was going to change.
Arriving at work this morning, i notice one of our fulltimers is missing.
I figure she's just running late.
No.
I am advised that 'she no longer works for our company.'
That selfish woman! Doesn't she realise how this will impact my work?
My world is coming crashing down around me.
Not only this but a thousand other things right now too..
I open up my work email & there it is.
An email from my boss titled 'WORK DAYS.'
*shudder.*
He wants me to work 4 days a week again. Yuck!
Doesn't he understand i have places to go, people to see & things to do on my midweek break?
The nerve of him.
I haven't replied to his email.. yet. It will need to be acknowledged soon though.
Maybe i should quit & leave my boss high & dry?
Thats the advice i've been given from my nearest & dearest..
Or how about this:
Who wants to give me a 3 day a week job, blogging for them?
(Im also good at going to cafe's & getting you coffee, multiple times a day... )
Im not joking.
You say the word & im yours.
xox

ps- Welcome to 2013 xox

Parklife~ Afterlife

Melbourne in the warmer months can only mean one thing..
A barrage of excellent music festivals to fuel our cravings for fresh beats!
Why are they so damn expensive though, argh!
To go to all of them or a select few?
Why does it feel like this is one of the hardest decisions of our lives?
If you've been in Melbourne recently, you may have heard of a little festival called 'Parklife.'
I only decided on the day that i was actually going to hit it up.
3.30pm i bought my ticket at the door.
So started one of the longest festival days of my life!
Grooving to Chiddy Bang, refuelling at the burger tent, getting our grind on for some RnB, moshing to Nero & walking out on The Presets, we survived *just.


Photo donated by Jordan. The best guy ever!


A crew of friends battled through the crowds, the rain, the bodies, the dirt & grime, the hail. We made it! And when it was all over.. coffee was definitely in order.
Cruising into the city & stuck in traffic i spotted a girlfriend who i grew up with.
Shouting at her & inviting her into my car, we stole her away into the night.
Ofcourse, as always, we went to the European Cafe.
For some reason, tonight, my soy latte was accompanied by the smallest, most insignificant spoon i had ever had the disgust of using.
Over coffee, my kidnapped friend informed us all that the Napoleon Exhibition was open for 24hours tonight as it was the final weekend for it.
3 Double shot soy lattes later.. and we found ourselves lining up for tickets at the gallery. It was after midnight & tickets were $10. YAYSIES!
I'm glad we hit up the exhibit.. but to be honest, none of us actually took in a lot of it.
Delirium had set in. Hardcore.
Time for some tea. A nice cuppa to soothe ourselves at the cafe outside the exhibit.
How we managed to not get beaten up by all the weirdo's we were surrounded by & that we were laughing uncontrollably at, I'll never know!
There was the table of goth' looking vampires with wildly massive clunky, black shoes
Or what about the lady that Versace was mesmerised by~ she was completely off in her own world, sipping her tea like a proper lady.. she was like a magnet.
About 2.30am.. i think?! We decided we needed food. Badly. Otherwise the 4 of us were about to pass out.
2.30am, in Melbourne, for food.. options are VERY limited.
McDonald's it was.
It was hideous, as always. But tonight seemed especially hideous!
There was that lady that looked like a man, those prepubescent kids dressed up to the 9's in their skankiest clothes & then we have, what we now refer to as, 'Breast Flakes Lady.'
She. Was. Off.
Minding our business & instantly regretting getting McDonald's, we sat there & took in our surroundings.
Then we spotted her. Sitting with her boyfriend (?)
Typical yukky person. Dirty trackies on. Dirty hoodie on. Dirty hair & face.
And sores.
SORES.
On her neck & chest. Red & raw.
Which she then started to rub ferociously. It was terrible! Rubbing & scratching at herself.
Although we almost felt sorry for her, we couldn't control ourselves anymore, we were laughing too much!
Then! She got up & walked towards us.. that nervous heart-skips-a-beat 'am i going to get rabies from her if she comes near me?' moment..
Scratching & rubbing her neck/chest, she walked passed us.. not before giving us a 2nd glance.
That was our cue to leave and pronto!
We were gone. Melbourne's finest weirdo's were too much to handle at such an hour. It was now around 3.30am.
And then we remembered it was daylight savings.. so make that, another 4.30am finish.
~le fin.
xox

Those long, late night chats

Late night chats are seriously the best.
I love nothing more than a good ol' fashioned chat with a best friend, over a coffee or glass of wine, that goes long into the night.
Why is it that so often the best chats we have with friends are the ones that go into the early hours of the morning?
Perhaps it's because the lighting is physically darker at night time, even if you are inside, you would normally have softer lighting on, yes?
Mood lighting.
This could give us the illusion that we could almost hide in the shadows.
Maybe we'll become shrouded in mystery because we aren't in the spotlight, so to speak.
Our expressions are almost hidden from view & our eyes are harder to read.
Even the tone we use & the depth of what we are saying changes at night.
Or maybe it's just a form of reverse psychology we unconsciously use on ourselves.
It also makes me wonder why we tell our deepest, darkest, dirtiest secrets under the shadow of the moon.
~Figure of speech, darlings, but you know what i mean.~
Not that i have deep, dark, dirty secrets to tell...
Who am i trying to fool?!
Of course i have them.
BUT!
They're not necessarily my own secrets.
They're the secrets you've told me when we've chatted long into the night.
It's all of those things that you don't talk about at parties.
***
Maybe i should start my own Gossip Girl style blog...
***
It's a strange thing to divulge our inner most thoughts & feelings to a friend.
To put so much trust & loyalty in them, to honestly open up, to tell them raw things we wouldn't dream of telling another person.
Even those little embarrassing things that no one else knows!
Personally, for some unknown reason, i find it's easier for me to do so at nighttime.

Perhaps it's because i think (or is it hope) that my friend will be too tired to fathom what I'm saying..
Therefore almost forgetting the details the following day?
And yet, i still feel good because I've just had an excellent chat!
Good communication & good friendships~ it's always a winner.
xox

The odd one out.

*Bliss.
My coffee just arrived.
It's a "Sunday Latte" which means it double your regular size.
Excellent!
It's 5pm.
It's a Saturday afternoon.
And without my best friend nearby to call for backup at the last minute
I find myself at one of my local cafes enjoying the best company i could find at such short notice.. Me!
I was literally driving passed this cafe no more than 10 minutes ago.
Instead of going home to a cold bedroom that is in dire need of tidying i did a U-turn & am now sitting in warm, comfortable surrounds escaping the rainy day that has descended on my home town.
My earphones are plugged in & i am whisked to a million miles away.
I'm listening to... well, i wont tell you.
But it is something courageous that soothes the soul.
Aka something that wont interrupt my train of thought.
For some reason my creative writing juices are flowing today so i have decided to take full advantage of this.
To use & abuse!
As i look around at the tables nearby, i note small groups of people.
IPads are being turned this way & that as a group of women peruse some photos.
'Ooh, look at this photo!'
The kids near me are hardly making a noise as they are being entertained by their parents IPhones.
Yes, i am very grateful for this!
*I am interrupted by a text from a good friend who i haven't seen in a couple of weeks.
Stoked to be hearing from them i catch myself smiling from ear to ear.
And then it dawns on me that, to an observer, i just became 'That weird girl who's sitting alone smiling to herself.'
You know what? I don't care.
Smile!*
On the next table down from me is a guy surrounded by 3 women who all seem to be vying for his attention.
I wonder if he's just lucky or if they are desperado's...?!
Taking out my earphones i realise that he's asking them the quiz questions from today's newspaper.
Ooh, i know the answer!
Although i am very tempted to throw something at him to get his attention, tell him the answer & then melt back into my own little world, i restrain myself.
The married couple sitting next to me seem to be quaffing some red wine.
Or at least attempting to look like they are.
I am somewhat jealous of their choice in drink but i figure I would just look like a sad drunkard if i had my own bottle of red... coffee is a safe choice!
Maybe next time I'm here I'll ask them to spike my coffee.. add a little Baileys to it!
There's a mother & daughter sitting close by.
The mum is drawing a picture of some sort~ i wish i could see it.
And then we have me.
The odd one out.
The only person in the cafe who is here alone.
Writing a rough draft of this blog entry into my little notebook.
Yes, it's old school to actually put literal pen to literal paper, i know, but old school is apparently 'cool' these days & well.. i don't want to be left out of the cool club now do i?
Latte is finished so i guess it's time to venture out into the cold.
See you soon loves.
xoxThe middle aged couple next to me are quaffing some red wine.

To quit or not to quit, that is the question.

*Sigh.
It's Friday. Finally.
Im telling you.. this has felt like one of the longest weeks of my life.
The reason? Actually, i have no idea why as i have been quite the busy little bee!
But last weekend definitely feels like an eternity ago.
What did i do last weekend? My memory fails me.
It's also been an eternity since my last blog post~ a thousand apologies.
I've had major writers block & am in desperate need of a muse.
Any takers? Im open to suggestion!
So the hunt for a muse continues.. but until i find one, i've had to dig into the core of my brain to try & find something... anything to write about.
And then it came to me.
(Although, i must confess- i definitely have some juicy tales i could tell you, but in this instance, i choose to protect the 'innocent.')
***
After a somewhat sleepless night, a few irritating phone calls at work this morning & realising i am due to fly out of the country in a matter of weeks, I found myself taking more notice of my darling friend who keeps asking me 'When are you going to quit your job?'
They have been saying this to me for weeks.. months even!
Their little voice has been etched into the back of my mind..
So coming to the end of a gruelling, busy week the idea of typing a short & sweet letter to my boss informing him that i am resigning is actually a teasing temptation.
Imagine that~
'The last 4 years working here have been nice but it's time for a change so here is my 2 weeks notice.'
(Do people even have to give 2 weeks notice anymore?)
And in 2 weeks i fly off to South America for a long awaited, much anticipated holiday.
The plan is to be back home in August but if i quit my job do i really need to come home?
Oh how the plot could thicken!
Or perhaps im just totally & utterly bored this afternoon & the day dreaming that my brain keeps running off to do is taking precedence over my logical thinking process.
No, surely that's not it.
In an ideal world, if i did quit my job i could sleep in every day, meet up with friends for lunch dates all the time & squeeze in a few coffee's too.
Ultimately?
Thats just all rainbows & unicorns.
How could that possibly be a reality?
I would still need to find an income of sorts.
*Work phone rings* bringing me straight back down to reality.
Argh, will this day never end?

~If anybody else can spot an angry face in the above picture, you are a champ!

xox

SYDNEY Vs 2x MELBOURNIAN WOMEN

What can 2 young, single women get up to with 5 nights in Sydney?
A lot. You would think.

Here are some short stories:

*After arriving in Sydney & turning on my phone, i noticed a friend had suggested cocktails.

I was off to a good start & i hadn't even collected my bags yet!

We went to Shady Pines Saloon~ it was cool.

Recommended is the Buffalo Trace bourbon, straight & shot, it will not disappoint. I promise. 

Follow it up with some Mexican & you've

had a brilliant night!*

~Upon leaving the Saloon, your friend informs you of a big celebratory night they recently had here & how they woke up with a mysterious permanent marker in their pocket the following morning. Random. But then a couple days later, you are reflecting on this conversation & realise that on this particular celebratory night, your friend sent you this picture:

'Get back in line' ...i can't help but wonder if this in fact was my friends handy work~

*I had very inconspicuously hidden a spare set of keys for my Smash friend, who was yet to arrive, under a sign post in the middle of the road outside our apartment. It was genius. Who would look in the shrubs for keys? Here is the link to our place, its fantastic: http://www.stayz.com.au/17128 ~this is our actual apartment. Totally gorgeous & i want to show it off to you!*

*If you check out that link, you'll notice there are windows in the bathroom.. all I've got to say is, it's a little bit awkward when you shower with the windows wide open to let out the steam & while you are conditioning your hair, you look out across the way & you spot a family sitting down to dinner. You think 'hmm, if i can see them this easily... there's probably a 100% chance they can see me & I don't want to put them off their dinner.' Windows closed.*

*We hit up a 3 day convention while we were in town which was very pleasant. On day 1, we got told we were 'Striking' & that we 'Stood out from the crowd because we looked different to everyone else.' As for the style in general, it wasn't exactly out of this world but to be honest, i would have to say people do know how to put an outfit together & look suave. Whether its a red leather tie or a pair of baby blue pants teamed with navy jacket,

it was nicely put together.*

*Then there were drinks at the Novotel. Being surrounded by the beautiful people & not knowing many there, definitely makes one feel insanely shy! Yes. That would be me I'm referring to. (As in, the shy one.. not the beautiful one) So instead of being all up in someone's grill, i chilled in the background sipping frangelico & lime while observing.*

*The Food: Mexican, Italian, Japanese. Win.

There is an amazing Japanese restaurant down the road from our place. In true Japanese style when you walk in, you are greeted with 'Irashimase!' (Welcome) & if you have ever been to Japan, you would know that when you walk into a shop, you are always greeted with that.

We found a nice Italian place called Love Supreme. And boy did we love it!

http://lovesupreme.com.au/

Get the YABASTA or ORECCHIETTE.*
~Although we didn't get it, apparently the Leone is also good~

*We ventured out into the glorious sunshine cruising around the city & Hyde Park. To our surprise, we got tan lines! We also hit up a pier right near the Opera House & Sydney Harbour Bridge. We soaked up the sunshine & were interrupted by an American guy asking us to take photos of himself holding up signs with mushy messages of love on them for his girlfriend! It was adorable! I wanted in on the cuteness so i jumped in a photo with him & made a love heart with my hands :) He then went on to tell us his name was Steadman & he was in a band who are playing a gig at Hisense Arena in Melbourne this weekend & he would get us free tickets.*

*Hitting up one of our favourite little spots- Gusto's at Fiveways- for breakfast/ brunch catch ups with a mate from Melbourne was lovely. It had been a long time between lattes.*

*How could i forget! The Lowenbrau. German Pub. German Beer. 2x Melbournian~European descendant women. Yes. It was as tasty as i rememebered. http://www.lowenbrau.com.au/

Sitting there minding our own business, a group of guys walked in. I took this poor quality, sneaky photo.. who needs pants? Seriously.*

*I think thats about it for now.

Thanks Sydney.

xox

Using a fake name when ordering coffee :)

Why?

Is it for the mystery, the excitement that we told a white lie to a total stranger & the fact that they will never know the truth,
will we get caught?

I know for a fact that I am not the only person who does this
when getting a coffee.
A few of my friends also have alias names.

Alias names are so James Bond, so Ethan Hunt & so hot right now!

I guess part of the reason I do it is because quite often people don't understand me.. I'm not talking a different language & I'm pretty sure I'm not talking jibberish..  
(no, sorry, I'm not going to tell you my real name, the majority of you will know me anyway)
What i will tell you is that my name has often been mistaken for Carol & even Nicole.

I took it upon myself to take away the awkwardness of having to correct people & spell out my name each time i order coffee.

It's just easier.

This got me thinking.

Why are we so scared about letting people know
who we really are?

Is it a subconscious protection for ourselves so we don't give people the opportunity to hurt us?

I, for example, am very guarded.

It takes a hell of a lot for me to let someone in.
A close friend put it best when she said about me:
"You are easy to get along with but hard to get to know."
Yeah. Can't really add anything to that.
She hit the nail on the head.

This quote is up there on my list of favourites:

"People who are guarded are afraid that you can see right through them. That's why they hide behind layers."

True.

Who really knows you?

Well, going out on a whim, I'd say there would only be a handful of people who really truly know you.

Inside & out.
Hold onto these people because those who mind, don't matter & those who matter don't mind.
Getting back to names..
..as per this picture recently sent to me by a friend, maybe I'll change my name to this:

...although, that might confuse people more.

'Copenhagen? Like the capital of Denmark?'

'Yes.'

XOX

ps- Speaking of Copenhagen, i hear it is amazing & i would love to go there!

Will you take me?

Please?

A Few Short Stories About Sydney.

*We supported our friend by doing the chicken dance @ the Lowenbrau' German pub at The Rocks. Yes we looked like twits, but who cares. We had a blast.

I reccomend the Mango Beer or just the original.

*While helping a friend make some snacks after he so nicely opened up his house to about 10 people who wanted to hang out, i burned my finger on his oven. We were making toast. Sounds lame yeah? Well, he burnt his toast in an actual toaster. *

*We hit up this little corner cafe at Fiveways called Gusto for some delicious eggs benedict & coffee to warm our souls.
*Shopping on Oxford St with the girls was only made complete when a darling girl in our lil' crew purchased bright orange suede shoes. AMAZING.
*Driving from Woolloomoolloo -> Manly ->Woolloomooloo -> Manly -> Woolloomooloo.. stopping at a 24hr cafe both ways. All in the one night.
*Wearing my hair in a bun all day and standing on the corner of George St & Curtin Pl, i undid it & was flicking my
hair around wildly.
-I confess, it did look like a birds nest-
But nothing could prepare me for what happened next. My friend turned to me & asked
'Is that a wig?'
Dead pan. Dead serious.
I didn't know if i should laugh or cry!
Thanx mate.
*Rocking out in the car at traffic lights with 3 friends to 'Give me everything tonight.' and screaming it at the top of our lungs, HILARIOUS!
The end.
XOX
ps- How could i forget!
The 1st night at our hostel they ran out of blankets. Sweet. I had to sleep under 2 towels & 1 big scarfe. I was actually rather toasty- not sure how, but i was! Crazy.