GUEST BLOG: 'So, I hear you like cats.' By El Vampiro

Hello Blog readers!
How's this for something special~
One of my long time friends, who is practically like a big brother to me, asked this morning if he could write a Guest Blog.
I was stoked at the idea!
So.. here goes, i hope you enjoy it,
xox

You’re a cat person or you’re a dog person. You can’t like both, there is no middle ground. If you’re a cat person, lets get it out there straight up, YOU HAVE NO SOUL…


- Guide dogs/Seeing-eye dogs, yes. Cats? NO – SELFISH BLACK HOLES
- You occasionally hear stories of bad smells coming from neighbours apartments & later find that the owner had been dead for two days & had been partially eaten by their cat. I’ve heard this personally more then a few times, ever with a dog? NO
- Dogs are so awesome, they made a show about one that continually saved the day. This dog was called Lassie, even a Flipper the dolphin was capable of doing good things. Ever heard of show about a cat saving the family continuously? I didn’t think so!
- Dogs are so beautiful and sensitive they literally know their masters voice & can tell if they're getting called by their name or not. Cats? They don’t care about you or the useless name you gave them and will only come to you if they think you're going to feed them, in fact call them anything & they wouldn’t know the difference with names.
- After earthquakes & terrorist attacks, do you ever hear of rescuers using cats to find survivors in the rubble? Cats dragging along sleds in the ice purely so humans don’t have to walk? Sniffer-cats helping the cops find the murders, rapists and criminals? No.
- You come home in a bad mood or even the slightest bit annoyed & the dog will sense it, come to you as you crumble to the floor & just put its paw on you in a gentle way of saying “Hang in there dude!”. A cat? It won’t even touch you unless it thinks its getting food & only then it might rub its body on your pants leaving multitudes of filthy hair everywhere. YUCK!
- Dogs dream. You can sometimes see their paws slightly kick & even the occasional yelp as they're trying to save you in their dream – its beautiful. Cats? They nap. All day, just waiting for you to fall asleep too so they can kill you & have a comfy place to dig their razor sharp claws into.
- Cats have no loyalty, they could leave you and just go where the food is, no stress. Dogs have one owner. One Master – YOU! And will do almost anything for you. They don’t care if you worked all day outside and smell filthy or you just came home from a hit and run & have the body in your boot ready to hide, they would be the first to help “I’ll dig the hole for you dude!” Cats? You're guilty from the second they look at you.
- If someone who you're close to who knows everything about you & you both intimately trust each other, tells you not to trust someone you pretty much take their word for it because you know they don’t want you to get hurt/murdered. Why do you think dogs hate cats so much? Because they’re evil. Cats are evil.
Don’t even start me on they’re stupid faces, they can’t show emotion. No sad, no happy, no painful just the same stupid face all the time. Yuck.
~El Vampiro.