To quit or not to quit, that is the question.

*Sigh.
It's Friday. Finally.
Im telling you.. this has felt like one of the longest weeks of my life.
The reason? Actually, i have no idea why as i have been quite the busy little bee!
But last weekend definitely feels like an eternity ago.
What did i do last weekend? My memory fails me.
It's also been an eternity since my last blog post~ a thousand apologies.
I've had major writers block & am in desperate need of a muse.
Any takers? Im open to suggestion!
So the hunt for a muse continues.. but until i find one, i've had to dig into the core of my brain to try & find something... anything to write about.
And then it came to me.
(Although, i must confess- i definitely have some juicy tales i could tell you, but in this instance, i choose to protect the 'innocent.')
***
After a somewhat sleepless night, a few irritating phone calls at work this morning & realising i am due to fly out of the country in a matter of weeks, I found myself taking more notice of my darling friend who keeps asking me 'When are you going to quit your job?'
They have been saying this to me for weeks.. months even!
Their little voice has been etched into the back of my mind..
So coming to the end of a gruelling, busy week the idea of typing a short & sweet letter to my boss informing him that i am resigning is actually a teasing temptation.
Imagine that~
'The last 4 years working here have been nice but it's time for a change so here is my 2 weeks notice.'
(Do people even have to give 2 weeks notice anymore?)
And in 2 weeks i fly off to South America for a long awaited, much anticipated holiday.
The plan is to be back home in August but if i quit my job do i really need to come home?
Oh how the plot could thicken!
Or perhaps im just totally & utterly bored this afternoon & the day dreaming that my brain keeps running off to do is taking precedence over my logical thinking process.
No, surely that's not it.
In an ideal world, if i did quit my job i could sleep in every day, meet up with friends for lunch dates all the time & squeeze in a few coffee's too.
Ultimately?
Thats just all rainbows & unicorns.
How could that possibly be a reality?
I would still need to find an income of sorts.
*Work phone rings* bringing me straight back down to reality.
Argh, will this day never end?

~If anybody else can spot an angry face in the above picture, you are a champ!

xox

~School times are good times

Ahhh to be young wild & free!
Without a care in the world!
*Pause blog. Aren't i still all of those things?! Why am i talking about it like it's millenniums ago? Hmm.*
I was thinking the other day~
Yes, i know, shock horror but i do like to try to use & abuse my brain on occasion.
Anyway, so i was trying to think of what to write my blog about today.
'School' has come up trumps.
You think that's lame? Yeah. Probably.
But for some reason you are still reading this aren't you?!
I was talking with a friend just yesterday about school.
Let's have an adventure~ an exploration, like you learn about in Geography class.
Oh the mischief you can get up to!
Getting out of school late because you were far too caught up with all the fun activities you were doing with your friends.
Looking for excuses, any old excuse, to do it all again the following day.
Going home & being sore all over your body from wrestling with your friends all day long!
Then there's those times where you discover massive scratch marks on your leg & you wonder how on earth you got them.
Or all those random bruises on your legs.. 'oh, hello there. I don't remember seeing you yesterday.'
And going home & being asked 'Whats wrong with your hair? It looks like a birds nest.' *Ohh.. That's probably from that annoying friend who just loves grabbing your hair & messing it up. Oh Good. Excellent. Brilliant.
And you thought your hair was looking ok? Ha!
Fool.
What about when you go home with a massive, fat, puffed up lip from where your friend head butted you? That's always fun.
How dare i forget! Knee high socks. Whether you are in primary or secondary, I'm sure you girlies out there would understand the ol' knee high slipping down your leg & having to snap it back up again. Over & Over & Over. *Snap.
Being tackled & pinned down & only THEN realising how small you actually are.
And your friend has the nerve to ask you 'Are you ok?' Seriously. 'Im STUCK!'

And ofcourse, it would be unfair if i didn't mention those ratty boys who only want to kiss you.
Boy: 'Lets play kiss-chasey!!'
Girl: 'Ewwww, boy germs! Go away! No!'
Boy: *cue INSTANT chase.*
Good memories until the end of time.
6-6.5 hours of fun everyday? Yes please!
Schools in Vs Schools out.
xox

That Guy Who Gives Me Dirty Looks

So, there's this organic shop down the road from my work.

Wholefoods/organic goods- where everything for sale is twice the price of anything you'll find at Safeway.

It's the sort of pretentious little supermarket/cafe you would expect hipsters to shop in.. if they could afford it.

So pretty much the people you can expect to find here are health food nuts, gym junkies & ostentatious Brighton snobs with too much money.

They sell things like 'Organic artisan handcrafted sourdough (no, I'm not really sure what exactly that all means~ it was on a poster in the window. Why can't they just say 'We sell bread?'), Tahitian limes, organic bananas all the way through to Miranda Kerr's body lotions.

Are you getting a feel for the place yet?

If you are, you might be wondering why on earth I'm here.

No? You weren't? ...oh.

Anyway, it's simple really~ they do delicious toasted sandwiches. Easy.

Yes, that's right. The good ol' toasted sandwich is the drawcard.

And on a cool wintery day, that's just what i want.. or maybe the soup, which is also good here.

Every time i order a tomato, cheese &, dare i say it, ham toastie, the guy working behind the counter gives me the dirtiest, greasiest looks.
Every single time. I have come to expect it now.

It's almost like he's judging me & telling me with his eyes that i should be filling my body with healthy organic food- not with some dirty pig that one day used to roll around in the mire before finally making it's way into my sandwich.

I went there today for lunch.

They advised me they were 'Out of ham.'

Instantly I'm suspicious of such a claim!

He offers me some chicken instead. "Yeah, sure thing."

After paying, i find a seat in the sunshine, put my earphones in & get lost in my own little world.

'My Mate' comes over & informs me 'Yeah, we don't have much chicken today.. so here's a refund.'

I am now 100% convinced he's trying to turn me into a vegetarian.

Don't get me wrong i could easily be that & i am definitely overdue for a date at Vegie Bar, but i just like being a carnivore too much to give it up totally.

Rant over :)

I think I'll go back there tomorrow..

xox
ps- When you read the title of this post, were you expecting some "Ooh la la'esque" story? Shame on you! You should know by now that i don't splash my love life across my blog!
Or do i & it's all written in code...

*UPDATE!
I DID go back the following day.. and 'My Mate' redeemed himself & was nice to me.
He complimented me on my 'Cool triangle necklace.'
What a champ! ...if only he knew there was a ranting blog post about him.

JUST TEXT ME ALREADY! ARGH

You know when you don't hear from someone for ages & it drives you WILDLY insane~

Friend. Family member. Loved one. That cutie you gave your phone number to..

No text, no phone call, no email, no snail mail, no carrier pigeon messages.

And being the stubborn dutch girl that you are..

I mean.. being the stubborn girl that you are..

I mean.. being the girl that you are..

I mean.. being YOU.. whoever you might be..

You refuse to contact them first.

Out of spite? Yes. Ofcourse. What other reason even exists?

Ahh, so lame. So very lame!

It's such high school level stupidity.

But you know that if you leave it long enough you figure they'll have to contact you first.

Wont they?

It's almost like that game you play at school, 'Mercy,' where you hold your friends hands, turn your arms inside out & whoever hurts & yells out 'Mercy' first, is the loser? Even if you are hurting, you still refuse to yell out because you don't want to lose..

Why do we play this silly little mind trip game?

Or should that be.. why do I play this silly little mind trip game?
I haven't the faintest idea!
As time goes by you start to think about other people, places, life, planning that trip overseas..
You may even totally forget about said person who hasn't contacted you.
Who??
Oh yeah, i used to know them. I wonder what they're up to these days..
And then casually minding your own business one evening while sitting on your friends couch, your phone buzzes.
'Oooh!! A text! I wonder who it's from!?'
Oh. It's you. Really? YOU. That's so damn random!
You sit there staring at your phone for what feels like millennium's.. REALLY?!
I just got THAT message?! From you?!
That's awesome!
So nice to hear from you, it's been a while.
I can't help but wonder why you are now suddenly wanting back in my life though, ahh the plot thickens.
The moral of this story? There is no moral of this story. It's just a story. And it's also a complete contradiction of last weeks post.
What?
You have to mix it up & keep it interesting!
xox

those unexpected phone calls..

..that make you realise people actually do care.

And after you hang up, you want to have a little cry about it because that phone call (or text message) came at *just* the right time.

And the person who made the phone call/text has absolutely no idea just how much you really needed it & appreciated it.

Whether you realised it at the time or not, you really did need that little gesture of love & friendship more than even you knew.

You know how sometimes when you hit a bit of a flat spot in your little life & all you feel like doing is crawling into a hole & hibernating hoping that it will all go away or fix itself..

But instead of dwelling in your own dark hatred for life & your insignificant problems, you push through it, suck it up & get on with life?

You might even feel like no one has even noticed your lack of 'sparkiness' as of late.

For some reason you think you can fool people into a false sense of believing that you are A-ok if you just keep smiling, even if you're drowning on the inside.

Comfort is found in the thought that you can just fly under the radar, put on a facade to protect yourself for as long as you need to~ admit it, you've done this before haven't you? :)

Fake it until you make it?

There are a thousand thoughts, feelings, emotions racing through your mind.

Love, life, work, family, friends.. the list could go on forever.

Where do you even start to pick yourself up from?

By this stage you're probably tricking yourself into believing that there's nothing wrong.

***

I was chatting to a friend just the other day about all of this.

(Confession: that conversation was my inspiration for today's post. You know who you are.)

They had noticed someone wasn't their usual effervescent self & they seemed a bit flat the last few times they'd seen them, so what did they do?

Picked up their phone, rang them up & asked if they were ok.

'Hey, you seemed a bit flat the last few times i saw you.. is everything ok?'

A good old fashioned phone call. Straight up.

It doesn't need to be anything major.

Not a long drawn out DnM for 3hours on a Monday night.

Just the phone call in itself can put your mind at ease knowing that someone out there actually noticed & took the initiative to check up on you.

It's the best. And by that, i mean BEST.

xox